"The Bachelor" - A Dirty Little Secret For Many Women

 On Monday nights around the country, women are gathering to watch what could be one of the worst shows on television, "The Bachelor."

I've had a love/hate relationship with this show from the get-go. I hate seeing women compete for a man's affections, the way they treat each other, and how they are more in love with the idea of being in love than the man himself. Tears and alcohol flow liberally and emotions run high. It's a clustercuss of bad, and it's something that I pop in on from time to time, sucked in by the sheer incredulity of it all.

It's not something I ever talk to my fellow "Downton Abbey" watching friends about. I write about pop culture for the Cape Cod Times, but heaven forbid I out myself as a sometime "Bachelor" viewer. It was only after reading this piece on the Huffington Post.that I decided to write this. Bolstered by the fact that other self-proclaimed smart women were watching, I felt less terrible about outting myself.

There is much that is very disturbing about "The Bachelor." Mostly the amount of self-doubt these women are afflicted with. Why does every woman who has been dismissed ask, "What did I do wrong?" Why don't any of them ever feel relieved to not be with someone who doesn't want to be with them? They dissolve into a puddle of mascara stained tears and feel they are somehow broken because some floppy-haired winemaker didn't choose them.

Perhaps we watch because we're trying to crack the complex code of mating. Whether you're just starting out, or an experienced dater, it's kind of nice to not alone in how much it just sucks.

Or maybe, as Emma Gray points out in her piece, part of the appeal is while we watch these young women collapse into a weepy messes, we feel better about our own love lives.. No matter how lackluster or empty your romantic life may be, at least you're not sucking face with a guy you don't really care about in questionably clean hot tub in Cabo. As my friend Laura's mom used to say, "It's better to be alone than wish you were."

I'm probably going to see this season through to the end, mostly because I want to see that uber bitch Courtney self-destruct and melt like the Wicked Witch of the West..

And I kind of want to see who wins Ben Flagnik's heart. and vows to spend the rest of his life with. Those will be some magical  five minutes.