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Saturday, March 2, 2013

Women, Competition, and Hating on Each Other

I woke up this morning to hear about the latest war in girl-on-girl world. Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm not talking about "Girl on girl"... this is about how horrible women can be to each other. And now every guy's eyes turn away from this post. Good... they wouldn't get this anyway.

Yesterday, E!News corespondent, Guilana Rancic committed the horrible crime of saying she puts her husband first, ahead of their son. Now I've got the feeling little Duke Ranic is not languishing in his fancy crib unattended to and abandoned. I am sure he is adored and well cared for. Rancic just committed the cardinal sin of saying she loves her husband and makes that relationship a priority, Hmmm,... another woman got in a lot of hot water a few years ago for doing the same thing.

Award winning writer, Ayelet Waldman penned a piece that caused a huge uproar amongst other moms when she wrote that she loved her husband, author Michael Chabon, more than she loved her children. It sparked a debate that pitted woman against woman and caused yet another chasm amongst my gender.

I have always considered myself a woman's woman. I adore my women friends. I cannot imagine a life without my friends. I love the man in my life, but I need the company of women as well. I just can't get how awful we can be to one another. From mean girls as teens (and oh yeah, I know from experience it does not end at high school graduation) to mom's in the PTA judging you it never seems to stop. But why?

I have a theory: We're hard on each other because we're hard on ourselves. I think that women are so hard on themselves that anyone who seems to be doing anything better, and God forbid, look better doing it, has to be knocked down a peg or two. We assume that the mom who looks good when dropping her kids off in the morning is a "bitch" and if, as Rancic found out, she appears to have an active sex life and fulfilling relationship with her husband, she's a bad mother.

We all judge. We couldn't make it through the day without some judgements, but we don't have to be so hard on one another. Men are not nearly as hard on each other as we are. We should be supporting and encouraging each other, not tearing each other apart. We need each other. Being a mom is hard, whether you stay at home, work outside the home, are single or married. Being a woman is delightful. I wouldn't be a guy for anything in the world. For me the clothes alone make it a no brainer.

Let's make a commitment to stop judging one another so harshly and stop comparing ourselves to one another. There's always going to be someone who is younger, prettier, thinner,has nicer clothes and better hair. So? Does that somehow make you any less than who you are? No! I think the best way to solve the girl on girl hate is to just start loving yourself. Just as you are.

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