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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Can We Get An "A" Up In Here?

So, unless you've been living under a rock, or manage to avoid all things pop culture, you are aware of these two stars of the "Twilight" movies, and real-life couple. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

Up until last week we mostly heard of this duo in reference to their hit movie series and in are they or aren't they a real couple gossip items.

That was before. Before Kristen Stewart was labeled an Adultress a la Hester Prynne for having an affair with the director of her most recent film, "Snow White and The Huntsman,"Rupert Sanders, a man almost twice her age.

I am fascinated by relationships - why they work, why they don't, monogamy and the lack thereof It's actually the topic of my next novel.

What I've witnessed in what has gone on in the press is not surprising, but nonetheless disappointing. Of course there would be interest - they're celebrities, but the venom with which many have attacked the 22-year-old has been painful to watch. 

Did she make a good choice? No, but she doesn't deserve to be pilloried in the 2012 equivalent of the town square - the Internet.

I probably think a little differently about infidelity than some. I don't believe another person can wreck someone else's relationship and I don't think everyone who strays is a criminal.

I was going to not draw any more attention to this topic, but I felt compelled to write something after I read this post on Huffington Post by Bonnie Fuller accusing Stewart of defaulting on her apparent pledge to moral perfection one unwillingly takes when they become an actor.

This is what I believe: I believe Ms. Stewart is a young woman who has been in the spotlight since she was a teen and has done a pretty good job of not being a train wreck. Her awkward personality aside, she seems like a good kid.  I believe that no one knows what goes on inside another's relationship. Ms. Fuller speculates about what an amazingly awesome boyfriend Pattinson was to Stewart, (me thinks Ms. Fuller perhaps has a crush on  a certain sparkly vampire herself) but we have no way of knowing the truth. I believe that what goes on in a relationship is no one else's business. I believe no one can break up another relationship. I believe infidelity is a symptom not a cause of relationships breaking up. And I believe we are all human. We're full of faults and weaknesses and we screw up.

It's never acceptable or all right to hurt someone. Especially someone we love.I'm pretty sure Kristen Stewart feels pretty darn bad about her choices. Actually I'm pretty sure she feels terrible. But the thing is she owes none of us a thing. All she's done is prove once again that we are all just doing the best we can, and even on our best day we sometimes really screw it up. Life does go on. We make mistakes, we learn, we grow. I think that's kind of the reason we're here.