Should I Be More Butch? Nah.

I read this very funny column this week by Alexandra Molotkow, about how she's a "failure" at being a woman. She cites problems with her lack of affection for babies, how she can't cook, and how she can't look good all the time while apparently smelling spectacular as well. I was not aware that we were supposed to do that.

My problem, as I see it is I like all the girl stuff WAY too much and maybe need to be less womanly and more like a guy's woman - you know, into sports and power tools. I never want to be thought of as frail or helpless. Though at almost five feet ten I don't think I would ever occur as frail.

After I read that column I started thinking about all the stereotypically womanly stuff I like to do - I sew, knit, bake, cook, crochet, I like makeup, clothes and shoes. I would rather make lunch for the people working in the yard or painting the house than do those things myself.

On the flip side I don't know what the hell a suicide squeeze play is, and pretty much everything about football (even though for four years I went to all of my son's high school games) completely confuses me.

These are not things I'm proud of. Somewhere along the line I missed the lessons on sports, power tools and spitting. That's right, I can't even spit right.

Perhaps it's because I was raised by a single mom and my brother wasn't into sports so I was never exposed. I envy my girlfriends who can talk baseball and know what's going on during a game. I don't want to feel like a sports moron, but apparently I don't care enough to do anything about it. Trying to learn football for me is like when my ex-husband, a very good bridge player would get me to be a fourth when they were short a player. The word "dummy" in those circumstances was quite apt.

I think what I really gleaned from Alexandra's column is that we all seem to wish we were different in some way. I'd like to be better at math and instinctivly know how to unclog a drain. Sadly, neither of those things come naturally to me.

Over time out of necessity I have learned to do some household repairs, but if I were to be perfectly honest, I'd much rather be baking cookies. If that makes me a less well-rounded woman, so be it. If a guy wants to date someone he can watch sports with I'm clearly the wrong choice, but I'll gladly read a book or write one while sitting next to them keeping them company. And I'll even make some brownies.