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Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day is About Love, Not Just Romance


I was on Facebook yesterday and noticed a sad lament coming from many single women friends about facing this holiday alone.

Valentines Day can feel like a big fat red heart that with every beat seems to be saying "loser!" as you navigate the aisles of your local stores. I know, I've been there.

The thing is, whether you have a wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend does not make you more or less worthy. What your relationship status says on Facebook does not define you or your life.

It took me a long time to get that. I have spent Valentine's Days railing at the universe wondering why I was seemingly a failure at love. But then I realized something - whether there is a man in my life or not, I am loved. And so are you.

There are times in life where it's good to be alone. I am never more productive and creative than when I am single. Too often when in a relationship my focus shifts to that person - wanting to please my partner and make the relationship work, even if it isn't right. My friend Laura's mom, a stellar singleton herself, used to say to us, "Better to be alone than wish you were alone." I take that to mean, better to be single than in a relationship that isn't right.

I do hope someday I will find someone who loves me just as I am, and can build a happy life with, but until then I am okay. I am more than okay, and so are you.

I was barely awake when my phone rang this morning. It was one of my dearest friends, Lou calling me to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day (or as she giggled, "Happy VD Day!") and to tell me she loved me. Being loved, no matter where it comes from is what matters.

You Are Loved. Don't ever forget that.

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