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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Cape Cod - Fashion Epicenter of the East Coast!

I was reading today about the 9 wardrobe essentials you must have to look like Kate Middleton, fiance of Britain's Prince William, and it got me thinking about the wardrobe essentials where I live - here in the 508. So after sitting at the Hot Chocolate Sparrow for three hours today and watching a lot of people coming and going, I came up with my winter version of the 9 things you need to fit in on Cape Cod in the winter.
1. Uggs. Clearly the ugliest footwear other than Crocs, they are de rigueur in a place that is cold, gray and damp about 8 months of the year.
2. Pajama pants. I thought this trend of sleepwear as day wear had passed, sadly penguins, polar bears and snow men dancing on fleece are still somehow deemed acceptable making me wonder just how hard is it to put clothes on?
3. Sweat pants on men. Now there's clothing that you've got on because you just came from the gym, and then there are pants that say you've just completely given up.
4. Slippers. See above.
5. Coats so large and poofy they need their own zip code. I have a coat I call, "Big Red," that makes me twice my size and causes me to knock down canned goods in the supermarket. But it's warm.
6. Birkenstocks with socks. I live in a very crunchy-granola part of Cape Cod. No matter what the weather there are folks who always wear these symbols of perpetual hippiedom. If it's cold, just add socks.
7. Sweatshirts with cats on them. Embroidered, silk screened or appliqued, it doesn't matter. I think these are assigned to women upon retirement.
8.Stretchy pants. Size, age and shape of the person contained in said pants is rarely considered in the choosing of the apparel, presenting a myriad of interesting views of the form beneath the Lycra. Just because something can be pulled on doesn't mean it should be.
9. We don't wear hats like the one above, oh no, we wear an assortment of knit caps that flatten our hair, fill it with static and cause us to look quite fetching when we get to our designation. I bet Kate Middleton and her little fascinator hats can't beat that!

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