Follow by Email

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Do Women Need to Be Taught How To Pick A Good Man?

I read a piece today about how women need to be taught the fine art of finding a supportive partner. that got me thinking. What I posit is that for many of us, while the roles and opportunities have changed and expanded, we're still stuck in an old paradigm of what we look for in a man.

I'm a big fan of women, and men too, I just think when it comes to vetting partners we can all be bad choosers. I know I have been.

What this article declares is that choosing the right partner makes a huge difference in your lifestyle - both in your home life and career. The right partner, one who is a cheerleader, not a wet blanket, can make all the difference. If you have a partner who is willing to be supportive and  encouraging you will mostly likely go further in your career, have more help at home, and well, probably have a better life!

Sadly, many women (ahem, I cop to this) don't make conscious choices, they wait to get picked and do a lot of forcing their round selves into the square holes of relationships that just aren't as wonderful as they should be. I however, finally (!) am making more conscious choices and deciding whether or not I want someone, not just do they want me. There are some clubs you just don't want to be a member of.

We have a lot of really bad role models out there - celebrities who choose fancy weddings over actually choosing a spouse, women vying for a rose and wanting some schmuck to pick them (never wondering if they really like him!) and a plethora of "Housewives" and "Jersey Shore" residents who don't look far below the surface when picking a boyfriend or husband. And of course the sad and pathetic Gigi in "He's Just Not That Into You," the girl who is yoked to her cell phone waiting for a guy, any guy to pick her, Ugh!

I bristled at first blush at the concept of teaching women to choose a good husband, but the more I thought about it I'm thinking it's not such a bad idea. After years of indoctrination leading us to think if a guy likes you he doesn't treat you well,,, maybe we do need a course, And a good, stiff backbone. 

Stop thinking the guy who makes you feel insecure, off-balance and worried is "the one" because he deigns to call  you once in a while. Do me a favor - the next time you meet a guy don't sit there wondering if he likes you, will call again or doodle his name on a legal pad. Think hard, very hard...and ask yourself, What do I think? What do I want? You might find you come up with a much different scenario.


  1. This is great advice Candy - asking ourselves "what do WE want?" rather than "What does HE want?" is a simple yet oddly elusive proposal for some...

  2. Thank you, N.E. Nic... it's taken me a long time to figure this out!

  3. Get the latest Pop Culture news update for being with the pop society, we are here for you can help you to go with it… stay with